


Purrtying hard

by Volo



Series: Too much fucking Davekat [10]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Book Club AU, Cat Puns, Humanstuck, M/M, POV Outsider, Pesterlog, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2761421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volo/pseuds/Volo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That certainly was an interesting book club meeting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Purrtying hard

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of writing more of the other three things that need updates.
> 
> EDIT: yeah, I edited this a bit.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] \--   
TG: janeyyyy  
TG: how was the book club  
TG: did u purrty hard?  
GG: Kind of.  
GG: It was certainly interesting and we discussed interesting points.  
GG: And the other people were nice.  
TG: im sensin a but here  
TG: you know me  
TG: im a pro when it comes to butts  
GG: Absolutely. :B  
GG: Well. It may have been a little bit boring.  
GG: And I may or may not have fallen asleep.  
TG: im a good friend  
TG: the best friend  
TG: so im not gonna say  
TG: i told you so!  
TG: Or… I told mew so.  
GG: Mew?  
GG: Oh, are you making cat puns? :B  
TG: i met a girl at college today who used cat puns all the time!!  
TG: Are they pawesome or are they pawesome??  
GG: I say:  
GG: They’re purrfect.  
TG: :3  
TG: wonderfur  
TG: anyway  
TG: … hm  
TG: anytail  
TG: did they kick u out fur fallin asleep or what  
GG: I don’t think they noticed…  
GG: It wasn’t really full-out-snoring sleep. More kind-of-napping sleep.  
GG: I was still afure of my surroundings. Mostly.  
GG: Two boys were there who were constantly pawrguing. That did disturb my rest a bit.  
TG: janey.  
TG: were they hot??  
GG: Not really my type, but I guess they were attractive.  
GG: One of them had black hair that was so messy that you could probably lose things in there.  
GG: Like, he’s scratching his head with a pen and suddenly the pen is gone.  
GG: Okay, that may be exaggerated.   
TG: that sounds rly cute catually   
GG: He would have been cute if he hadn’t yelled everything he was saying. I’m surprised I didn’t get a headache.  
GG: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DARE INSULT MY FAVORITE BOOK WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING ITS SECRET GENIUS.  
GG: Followed by a lot of insults.  
TG: ok i get why u were annoyed  
GG: The other guy wasn’t fazed by that at all.  
GG: He wore really dark shades – inside! - and always had the same neutral expression.  
GG: And he made a lot of really ironic remarks.  
GG: It kept driving Loud Guy insane.  
GG: I remember that he was called Dave Strider, but I don’t remember Loud Guy’s name.  
TG: and they were the only guys?  
TG: who else was there  
GG: A lot of old ladies. Okay, or middle aged.  
GG: They were all very lovely, but not people I’d want to meet every week. Especially now that Dave and Loud Guy won’t come anymore.  
TG: rly? claws sometimes you do remind me of an old lady  
GG: You remind me of an aunt that still looks twenty years younger and sometimes flies in from some tropical island during a holiday and gives everybody incredibly expensive gifts.  
TG: aw ily 2  
TG: wait why do dave and LG stop coming to the meetings  
GG: That, my dear furiend, is a story I am going to describe in detail right now.  
GG: Once upawn a time, a young man was yelling at another young man.  
GG: YOU ARE ONLY IN THE BOOK CLUB BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IRONIC ASSCOUCH. YOU SHOULD LEAVE AND LET THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MORE THAN TWO BRAIN CELLS DISCUSS THESE THINGS SERIOUSLY.  
GG: INSULT, INSULT.  
TG: ironic asscouch  
GG: I’m just quoting here.  
GG: More or less.  
GG: I might not be able to quite capture his very unique tone.  
GG: I think Ida had already tried to stop him from swearing, probably several times, but he was in such a rage that he didn’t notice anything but Dave.  
GG: But their arguing seemed like it had probably happened so many times before that Ida didn’t even really try anymore.  
GG: And Dave said:  
GG: yo man youre hurtin idas sensitive ears with your potty mouth  
GG: (That's how I imagine he types.)  
GG: you should really be more considerate of others karkat  
TG: who now  
GG: I just remembered LG’s name. Karkat.  
GG: WELL, YOU’RE HURTING IDA’S SENSITIVE EYES BY FORCING HER TO LOOK AT YOU.  
GG: no way man im hot as fuck  
GG: And he stood up and gestures at his body and when Karkat kept on insulting him, he started taking of his jacket.  
TG: Janey!!!!!  
TG: how could you fall asleep?????  
GG: I was awake at that point!  
GG: And confused. I asked Dorothea if things like that happened often.   
GG: Meanwhile, Dave was threatening Karkat with a striptease.   
GG: Dorothea answered: "Absolutely not!"  
TG: O. M. G.  
TG: i like where the story is goin  
TG: i ship them :P  
TG: as much as you can ship real people youll never meet  
TG: pity itll nefur be canon  
GG: I wouldn’t despair just yet if I were you.  
TG: !!!!!   
TG: what  
GG: Hoo hoo hoo.  
GG: Karkat stood up, too, and tried to make Dave put his jacket back on.  
GG: He really grabbed his arms and attempted to shove it through the arm of the jacket.  
GG: Dorothea said to me: "This is better than TV!"  
GG: I’m starting to think the ladies let them just do whatever they want during their book club meetings beclawse they’re very entertaining.  
TG: id do that too  
GG: Karkat screamed: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING AT THE MEETING OF A BOOK CLUB THAT MOSTLY DISCUSSES ROMANCE IF YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE FINE AND COMPLICATED ART OF WOOING SOMEBODY AND ARE NOT INTERESTED IN LEARNING ANYTHING ABOUT IT.  
GG: Or something like that. I don’t remempurr exactly what he said.  
TG: is this going where I think its going  
TG: do u feel the sexual tension too  
GG: Dorothea said something to the same effect to me.  
TG: i like her better every minute  
GG: Dave answered: i know all about romance  
GG: And said he'd prove it to him.  
GG: And asked him out!  
TG: !!  
GG: ill show you, just go out with me  
GG: And then, a bit quieter, he added "please".  
TG: !!!!!!!  
TG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!  
TG: are u kiddin me  
GG: Karkat smiled at him for a second and mumbled that he'd like to go out, but then Dorothea let out a scream of happiness and Ida started clapping.  
GG: And the poor guy startled and pulled back. He looked like a deer in the headlights.  
GG: I felt a little bit bad fur him, but then Dave turned Karkat’s face back to him and kissed him on the cheek.  
GG: And that was really sweet!   
GG: Karkat smiled!   
TG: Im sitting here screaming, do u even know that!!!  
GG: To be honest, their story was a better story than the one in the book we were reading.  
TG: i think  
TG: maybe dave only came to the meetings to see karkat  
GG: He sort of admitted that. He said he wouldn’t come to more meetings now.  
GG: “not really my type of thing no offense ladies”  
GG: The old ladies then made Karkat promise to make Dave come by at least every ten weeks.   
TG: so theyre together now?  
GG: They are dating, it seems. :B They started talking about where their date would be when they left.  
TG: i cant believe you dont want to go to more meetings  
TG: they sound srsly pawesome  
GG: I doubt something like that happens at every book club meeting.  
GG: Other than that it was meowstly boring.   
GG: We should just go see the movie when it comes out.  
GG: The mewvie.  
TG: hell yeah  
TG: but it probs wont be as completely AWESOME as dave and karkats epic fucking love story  
TG: not that i know what the books about  
GG: I don’t really know either. The writing was rather dull. But there were wizards.  
GG: So maybe you’ll like it.  
TG: hell fucking yes  
TG: take it with you when we meet for lunch tomorrow!!  
TG: no screw that  
TG: im comin and visitin you!!  
GG: Sure. I have nothing to do right now.  
GG: Well, nothing that is really urgent.   
\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] \-- 


End file.
